similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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