I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
