hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
