Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
