Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
