is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
