I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
there was a trapeze. enough said
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize