Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
