Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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