i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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