Three words: puerto rican gang bang
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
