is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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