there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
