well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
