Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just found puke in my bra..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think I sprained my soul last night
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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