she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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