Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
