no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
