Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
