I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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