Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
