Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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