dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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