pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
