i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
