flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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