it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
