I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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