Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
