she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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