I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
