Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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