if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
