remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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