I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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