Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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