i will never coherently bang her
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
