oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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