If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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