omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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