Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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