she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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