Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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