I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
