I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize