You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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