chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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