Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
