clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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