she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
