I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
