worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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