I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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