where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
