Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
