Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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