found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
