After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
