i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
