You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
