when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
