The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
