Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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