Plan B is the new Plan A
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
